Warped (The Mercenary Series Book 2) by Marissa Farrar

Author:Marissa Farrar [Farrar, Marissa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Warwick House Press
Published: 2017-01-25T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Eighteen

V

I didn’t know why X saying he loved me felt like he’d hit me in the chest. I should have been happy, shouldn’t I? The man I’d cared so much for turning up alive after all this time, putting his life on the line for me, and then telling me he loved me. So why the hell did I feel like he’d just told me I needed to jump out of an airplane without a parachute?

I could feel him between my legs, my thighs sticky from his cum, my pussy tender and swollen from us fucking. Because that was all this was ever supposed to be—two people in difficult situations getting a little pleasure from each other.

But love?

I didn’t want to examine my own feelings toward him, terrified of what I would learn. How had I felt when I’d believed him to be dead? Heartbroken, yes, but also furious and determined. I’d used my anger to quash down the loss I’d felt at what I’d believed to have been his death. I’d not let myself think of him, or the time we’d spent together, just put it down as yet another source of pain in my life. I’d experienced so much loss, and instead of letting it break me, I’d used it to harden me, to build me up.

I’d thought X was the same way. He had been the same way—the hard exterior created to defend himself against the torture this world was able to work upon us. He’d been hard and tough, like me, but it seemed him losing his memory meant he’d forgotten that. He’d forgotten all the pain he’d experienced—even the years of torture he’d endured at the hands of his adoptive parents—and forgetting had allowed him to feel a little more.

Feeling wasn’t good.

Feeling got people hurt.

I cleaned myself up and got dressed. It was stupid, but I was nervous to face him again. I thought I’d see hurt on his face, and I didn’t know how to make it go away. Could I tell him I loved him, too? Did I love him? I wasn’t sure I knew how to feel that anymore. I didn’t even tell my sister I loved her. In fact, the way she’d treated me recently, I wasn’t sure I could feel love for her, more a kind of responsible loyalty. Until today, anyway. Today I’d abandoned her and destroyed what responsibility I might have felt for her.

I hadn’t thought it possible for her to have hated me any more than she already did, but I guessed that wasn’t the case.

A knock came at the bathroom door, making me jump.

“You okay in there, Vee?” His voice, so masculine, was enough to make my stomach flutter.

“I’m fine. I’m just getting dressed.”

“You don’t need to hide.”

“I’m not,” I snapped. “I’m coming.”

I had been hiding, but I didn’t appreciate him calling me out on it.

I opened the door to find him leaning against the wall opposite. He’d put his pants back on, but remained shirtless.

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